You have to realize that I'm writing this post based on my view and the perception that I have
regarding IEPs. Call it biased, but in my experience perception is reality and I am the parent of a daughter who has special needs. Though no one involved in an
IEP will admit it, the district's job is to save money; and when your child requires additional services, say for speech or occupational therapy the district has to pay for it. In order to have your child assessed you need to submit something to the district in writing. You can't just tell the teacher that you want an evaluation done, it has to be written out and delivered to the school. I've seen them addressed to the principal, special education director, special education program specialist, etc. I would just send the letter to all of them so they know you're serious. There are several different websites to get an
IEP sample letter and I'll include them
here in this link (File should open in another window and you can download them from there).
In the letter you have to state concerns that you have and what you want specifically assessed. For example, you can't just say, "I want my child assessed because they are slower than everyone else." It doesn't have to be long, but it does have to be precise. If it were me and I was concerned about my child's progression, I would ask for them to be assessed by the speech therapist, occupational therapist, ABA therapist, physical therapist and have a psych evaluation on top of all that. They do have 30 days to set a meeting up, excluding larger holidays, but if you're asking for more than just one aspect to be evaluated, they do have no longer than 60 days to make sure it happens. After your child is assessed and the meeting is set the showdown begins.
For the actual meeting there will be everyone there; all the people that assessed your child, along with the principal, their teacher and someone from the district is allowed at the meeting but in my experience usually doesn't show. It can be rather intimidating and as long as you know what to expect, don't be shy or back down in anyway. As I stated earlier in the post, the district's job is to save money. I think that everyone there wants your child to progress, but their hands are tied because of their budget and the less they have to pay the better it looks on them. You have to pick and choose your battles. I remember the first IEP my daughter had and she wasn't really speaking at 4 years old, they offered us 20 min of speech therapy per week... Let me let that sink in for a second... 20 min per week and she isn't even formulating sentences at 4 years old... Really? We were new to this so we thought that would be great, but looking back it's like giving someone a cup of water to put out a forest fire. It was really something that they offered so they could say, "See, we helped them out" and essentially wash their hands hoping we would go away. The second time around, we wanted ABA therapy so rather than say the speech wasn't working, we decided to pick a different battle and ended up getting ABA therapy (which is wonderful btw).
At the end of the meeting their biggest goal is to get your signature saying that you are satisfied with what the school is offering your child and if you're not happy, don't sign the paper! Let's recap:
Desires from the school district- Save money and get your signature.
Desires from the parents- Getting services for your child.
If the district says they don't have the money, that's not your problem. They have a responsibility to make sure your child has a plan to learn, grow and progress. Remember, your child will eventually (if not already) be inserted into a classroom where children are already reading, speaking and playing with no limitations. You are your child's advocate and quite honestly, if you don't do it no one will. I'm not a big fan of politicking, those who know me best know that I hate it, but for the most part that's what school districts will do. There is give and take on both sides, just like a negotiation, so if they want your signature saying you are satisfied with the plan they've laid out for you, you owe it to your child to make sure it's the best plan for their development.